ON THE FRONTIER THERE WERE NO STANDUP COMEDIANS. They were forced to make each other laugh. When it comes to topics, we haven’t progressed much as this song shows.
Variations exist of this song under a number of names, including In the Shade of the Old Apple Tree, The Burgler Man, My Little Girl, A Dandy For Nineteen Years Old and Whorehouse Bells Were Ringing.
This one goes out to anyone who has ever been on an online dating site. Buyer beware. It dates from the eighteenth century, was English in origin and became increasingly obnoxious once it hit these shores. There are versions where the lady in questions strips down till the only thing remaining is her um … well you get the point.
Nineteen Years Old (The Virgin)
Traditional, England, Nineteenth Century
As I was walking down by the Strand
I met a young lady all dressed up so grand
With features of finery and jewels set in gold
Said she was a maiden, just nineteen years old
Her fingers were tapered, her neck like a swan
Her head tipped a little, her voice not too strong
In six weeks we were married, the wedding bells tolled
I’d married that maiden, just nineteen years old
After the wedding we retired to rest
I thought I would die when that female undressed
A trunk full of cotton she first did unload
I thought it darned funny for a nineteen year old
She took off her left leg as high as her knee
She took off her fingers, I countered but three
While there on the carpet her glass eye did roll
I thought it darned funny for a nineteen year old
She took off her eyebrows, I thought I would faint
Next from her mug came a carload of paint
She took off her false wig, her old bald head told
I thought it peculiar for a nineteen year old
She took out her teeth, I jumped up in terror
Her chin and her nose fell right in together
Now I’m telling you folks she was a sight to behold
That fair little maiden just nineteen years old
Now all you young fella’s when courting you go
Make sure she is perfect from head to her toe
You’ll pay for your folly, like mine you you’ll be sold
To a patched up old maid about ninety years old
